turkey-imported-from-maine:

firelorcl:

meladoodle:

i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

a dentist

i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police

A man goes back in time after a woman who was sentenced to death for murder asks him to give her the death sentence before she commits the crime. But he falls in love with the innocent girl who is to become a criminal, and instead kills the person whom she was going to kill. I feel like mass-producing “slightly intriguing summaries” like this is the ultimate training.
—Fafoo (via vgperson)

@uni_mafumafu: 入稿おわりましたあああああ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(たぶん)
Mafumafu: WE FINISHED UPLOADING TO THE PUBLISHERRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!! (probably)

@kogeinu: 入籍おわりましたに空目して地球が爆発するかと思った RT 入稿おわりましたあああああ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(たぶん)
Kogeinu: I misread that as “finished updating the family register” and…

tags: #giveaway
Joke of the day.

wanderoar:

roseonabeach:

frostedsammy:

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, “Can you all see me now?”

“Yes.”
“Oui.”
“Sí.”
“Ja.”

what

Took me about ten minutes to finally understand this

stupidest/most awesome joke ever

(Source: flyingscotsman)

witchofneigh:

image

I like how Yato literally just throws himself in the trash at one point